thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
