New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
