I skipped work to stalk him.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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