you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize