Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
