so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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