DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
