hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
