why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
