The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize