My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
