my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
