I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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