Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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