if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
