The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
