I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
