I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
