Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
