Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
