she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
