what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
