dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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