Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
