I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
