Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
don't judge my taste in strippers
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
