I just made out with a guy for $7.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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