i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
