...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
