Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
