At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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