We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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