I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
