NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
