Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
