There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
third nipple confirmed
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
