dude i'm inner monologue high
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
