you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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