Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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