i was born a porn star she said
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
