Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
