i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
