Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
