i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
pray to the hookup gods
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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