Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
