guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Rumble strips road head = magical
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
