Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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