I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
