Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
