how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
