i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize