im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
