dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
