1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Bring me that man meat
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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