If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
