i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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