Where is the hickey?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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