He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
